The Beginning of the Unplanned Life

We will never forget the day our family was forever changed when a trip to the ER found a brain tumor in my mother-in-law.

My husband, Scott, rushed home from a service trip, walking out on a customer in Tennessee to make the trip home to Michigan after receiving the news. We just returned home from Labor Day weekend up north spent with both our families. Scott's mom was acting "off," to put it mildly, for a couple of weeks, so we went up north with the primary purpose of helping pull her out of what we thought was depression. It did help. She was more herself than she had been in weeks. We got her out doing things, focused on keeping her present.

On Tuesday morning, my mother-in-law was taken to the emergency room since she had taken a turn for the worse. A CAT scan showed a brain tumor, and she needed to be transferred to another hospital more equipped for her case. This was peak COVID, and no visitors were allowed besides one person per day; during the transfer and initial evaluation, we sat in the parking lot, waiting. Hours passed, and we got the news that she needed surgery urgently.

You can never prepare for news like this, the emotions you experience and the fear. One of the hardest things we had to deal with was being unable to visit or see her before, during, or after surgery due to COVID restrictions. After many attempts and even stooping to the level of begging management to get her two sons in to see her, I gave up trying. We spent many days in the hospital's parking lot, during surgery, for results appointments, and to support my father-in-law.

It was OVERWHELMING, discharge, aftercare from brain surgery, then getting all the appointments set for chemotherapy, radiation, surgery follow-up, and all the required testing and retesting.

In between scheduling and figuring out the proper channels to organize her care, I was frantically researching and reaching out to family and friends in the medical field to be prepared; everyone just said to pray it was not a Glioblastoma. After hearing the surgeon got 99 percent of the visible tumor and no visible "fingers" - the chances of it not being a Glioblastoma tumor were slim.

The next hurdle was the results appointment. We had a family meeting in my office at work. It was devastating, and the fears confirmed it was a Glioblastoma tumor, cancer, and she would need radiation and chemotherapy. During her first radiation appointment, she was given the news not only was it stage 4, but "she needs to get her affairs in order if she doesn't have them already," and she has minimal time with the most aggressive treatment approach. This was also the day my father-in-law approached me and asked for help. Little did I know this would be the beginning of a still ongoing mission/challenge/inspiration three years later.

I could not sleep; at night, all I did was scour through medical journals, looking for ANYTHING that would help my mother-in-law with her incurable cancer. Anything to make her more comfortable, help with her testing, improve her quality of life, and help her have a chance at living her last couple months pain-free and enjoy the time she had. I worked with her, the dietitians, and the doctors on healthy eating plans, natural remedies, and supplements, and we found a regimen that could help and not hurt anything during treatments.

Between her treatment plan, miracles, excellent doctors, an intense supplement regimen, lots of support, and a strong and incredibly stubborn woman, we can share she is still here today three years later. She has defied all odds, battling this terminal, incurable brain cancer, living her life by faith, strength and inspiration.

Her story is unfinished; I will continue sharing parts of this journey along the way.

Forward ---

Why start The Unplanned Life? It has been put on my heart to use these experiences to help others, help the deer in headlights approach to navigating the healthcare system in an emotionally devastating time, and take the pressure off of the family to focus on their loved ones while managing the diligent tasks of starting the process after a life-altering diagnosis.

If I can give you hope or to not feel alone, relate to one thing I share, one tip to make your life easier in your time of need my goal has been fulfilled. I wish someone could have explained this process to me, given me a starting point, provided direction to get organized and how to follow up and make the process easier on my family and me, who was delegated the organizer of care.

Preview / Simplified Version of our Story -

Life is LIFE unplanned, messy, overwhelming, and unpredictable; what if I told you during these last three years, we not only dealt with brain cancer, but my father-in-law was diagnosed with throat cancer, both parents could not drive, and both needed chemo and radiation care. Then, I spearheaded the move for my grandparents to assisted living and navigated the initial research on types of elderly care (if you know, you know that is a nightmare), helping care for my other elderly grandfather, who lives alone and is legally blind. Then, my uncle was diagnosed with small cell carcinoma, traumatic labor, and delivery for our sister and nephew. Just recently, we then lost my uncle and grandpa 12 hours apart from each other, and all this while trying to navigate our everyday life, work, family and home balance.

These are all pictures from our Labor Day Weekend Up North